When I was a young girl, I used to get these bad infections in my big toes. Sometimes it was from splinters I picked up by repeatedly walking around barefoot on Mildred’s (my mother’s eldest brother’s wife’s mother) old deck after swimming, despite my parents warning me insistently. Other times, the skin grew over the nail. Still others appeared without any good reason. The last infection happened when I was ten years old. I will spare you the nauseating details, but it left a lasting, and dare I say, traumatizing impression on me – although it still doesn’t stop me from walking around barefoot whenever I can.

A week and a half ago, I went to get a pedicure and the woman performing it commented on how nice my toes where (her usual clientele are women in their 90’s, so you can imagine where she was coming from). I said off handedly that I used to get infections when I was little and, interestingly enough, I haven’t had one in over 15 years… that is until a few days ago.

I don’t know how it happened, but my guess is that the combination of the woman cutting the nail too short and my having worn an ill-fitting pair of heals resulted in the disaster.  

So what’s my point in relaying this unflattering story? Well, I’ve been reading “Anatomy of the Spirit” by Caroline Myss, PH.D (thanks to my friend over at ReikiCove) … In the book, Myss bridges the gap between the seven Christian Sacraments, the seven Hindu Chakras, and the ten Sefirot (Kabbalah) to demonstrate how all these philosophies come together to compliment one another and form a more “complete” vision of how our energy-bodies work.

 Being well versed in theology, I am very familiar who the concepts she presents. However, as I read Myss work it is as though I am seeing things in a way that I have never thought before. Most people who practice a form of energy “healing” work – be it Reiki, Quantum Touch, Haldo – will say that physical illness first starts out on an energy level (after all, everything is made of energy). If we don’t work on this form of dis-ease it will eventually manifest itself on a physical level and keep reoccurring until we address this. (This is referred to as karma in Buddhism). Even conventional medicine is beginning to explore the energy-body, whether it exists, and how it affects what we come to think of as our physical self and are finding that it holds true.

 As a Reiki practitioner, I tend to be very balanced in my approach to these physical manifestations. After all, “sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” Yet, my experiences have also taught me otherwise. That’s why I suspect that this toe infection is more than what it appears to be. To once again start having them after I’ve finally made a decision to uphold my integrity and live in the present regardless of what anyone says – something that I’ve always consciously believed, but often sacrificed, especially as a tween and well into my early twenties – is more than coincidence.

Incidentally, Myss writes: “To confirm oneself – to consciously develop and acknowledge a personal code of honor – is crucial to the creation of a healthy body. There is no health without honor.”

All the more reason to work on upholding my personal truth… That, along a hot soak in the tube, as well as a hot compress soaked with tea tree oil, should have my feet feeling better in no time. Otherwise, I will revert back to the old method from when I was a kid – saline solution and kisses from mom.

This is where I am suppose to tell you what I’ve been up to and all the insights I’ve gleaned since the Reiki II attunement two weeks ago. Unfortunately, I’m not sure how much of an entry that will make for, as I am still trying to digest it all. I can say that my life has changed in numerous ways. However, mundane words don’t seem to do the experience justice…

On some level, I feel as though many of the blockages, stale energy, and inhibitions that have accumulated over time have been released. I find myself doing and saying things that would seem uncharacteristic if it weren’t for the feeling in my heart affirming they are natural (i.e., not having some negative to say about myself or actually waking with the desire to possibly get married one day).

Even so, there is still the feeling of not knowing where I am going – a feeling that perhaps on some level I should be making more of my life. That I am wasting my talents or not being completely true with myself. Yet, I also know that that isn’t entirely true. That no matter what, I am always where I am meant to be, despite any set backs or perceived barriers. I have to learn to accept that the timing isn’t completely right at the moment and to be patient… wait for myself to get on board, wait for the world to catch up… learn to flow with the universes’ “time.” I know that where I am at is better than where I’ve been. Yet, I can’t help but believe that the future will be even better yet and I am eager to get there. In other words, I need to practice living in the moment rather than projecting into the future or reliving the past. (I would imagine many of you struggle with similiar things).  

Aside from the Reiki II attunement, I experienced another life-changing event in the time since my last post. Last weekend, I went to visit with my mother’s sister (you might recall that she wished me to read for her). Our time together was nothing like I expected. We’ve always had an unspoken bond. But neither of us could imagine how powerful our time together would be. It was as though we were in sacred space from the moment I got to her home until I left. Every assumption I had about her, our relationship, and what it meant to be a woman in the modern world was blown out the window. Certainly gave me a lot to think about and inspired many topics for future discussion both with her as well as on this blog.

 So what have you all been up to lately? Has your life shifted in any way?

This past week has been a bit of a challenge… a lot of releasing, accepting, forgiving, and opening up for new and exciting things. I’ve been working through a lot of assumptions thanks to Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements, The Mastery of Love, and The Voice of Knowledge. (more on that to come). 

 And I am happy to say that much of the emotional posion I’ve been holding on to has finally dispersed. There’s still a long way to go, but I feel very ready for the next leg of the journey… which happens to be Reiki II training all this weekend!

I’ve given it some thought and came to the conclusion that the only way I am going to get any where with making the wellness center a physical reality is by actually doing something to make it happen. It’s nice to plan and say that one day I will do such and such, but if I keep going down that road things will never manifest… the center will stay a dream. The best thing about it: there are so many wonderful people in my life that genuinely want to see this come into fruition too. I have gotten so much wonderful advice and words of encouragment that how can I not take a leap of faith…

My mother’s sister came to visit the other day. It’s always a hoot when the three matriarchs get together. As it happens, she came on an afternoon when I wasn’t home…

Later, I heard from my mom that my aunt wants to know if I would be interested in doing a reading for her. In all honesty, I had no idea she even knew I did that stuff… although given our families history, it doesn’t surprise me in the least.

This is something I’ve often thought about: Is it appropriate to read for family members or people you know? In general, I tend to think that reading/healing sessions are more like consultations or counseling sessions – I give you some questions or things to think about before we meet so I can get a better sense of what it is that you “really” wish to know. You give me some issues you need help with. We both reflect beforehand. (In other words, we both set intentions). We then meet and see what comes through. I won’t editorialize and I won’t tell you something just because you want to hear it. Sometimes, it is just a matter of holding the space and allowing the client to release. It’s a co-collaboration to pierce through the veil/illusion and gain better insight – and by the end, hopefully, we’ve both learned a little something. (Ok, that’s an over simplified version, but you get the idea…)

If that’s the case, then I guess I consult with my family/friends all the time – what to eat for dinner, the best way to handle a relationship problem, how to make wise economy decisions, whether or not we are going down the right spiritual/life path. We just don’t have all the fanfare, ritual, or mediation, or whatever you want to call it, to prep. It’s very off the cuff. The same can be said for close friends, although I have held sessions for them in the past.

Even so, there’s something about the formality of a session that … how can I say this? … makes me very much aware of the influence one can easily have over another. It is one thing to give someone advice. It’s another thing to conduct a healing/reading session and assist them in gaining spiritual insight (something that they have with them all along, but might not be aware) through the laying of hands or cards. There are people who waste a lot of time, put a lot of faith in going to various “healers.” The true ones will be worth their weight in, salt (perhaps). But there are a lot of dubious people out there who only seek to take advantage or haven’t worked through their shit.

For me, it all comes down to ethics and personal awareness. If someone, I don’t know asks for a reading I feel a little more comfortable because, I guess in my mind, I feel that they are less likely to take me seriously. The chance that a family member or friend might take my words to heart is much greater. In either case, I always remain objective. Sometimes easier said then done, particularly when it comes to family.

(On a side note, on the way home from my mentor’s I asked the universe to give me some insight into how I can start making the wellness center a reality – I got this lesson, so we’ll see what happens).

What about you, do you think it is ok to read/conduct a healing session for family member/friends? Do you prepare any differently then you would for a normal client? I would love to hear your stories.

photo pond taken at Deep Cut Gardens

Over the weekend, I attended a Reiki Share* (my first) at the In Balance Center in Hillsborough, NJ.

The Center gave me some really cool ideas for how to set up the wellness center when the time comes. My favorite thing about the whole place was how open it was… two low flat top “houses” were separated by a plot of lush land.  A gravel pathway filled with “jewels” and stepping stones that looked like sand dollars ran throughout the property. Eventually the path led to a “bridge” made of what looked like old Tiki wood. The bridge went over two ponds filled with kio fish and frogs… beautiful sculptures, fountains, and inspirational sayings were placed throughout the area. There was plenty of room to sit outside and simply enjoy the space. One house was dedicated to massage and other therapies, while the main house had the reception area and two open rooms for workshops and things.

In terms of the actual Share experience, it helped me to further challenge and release some of the energy I’ve been working to clear the last few weeks. Out of respect for the sacredness of the attendees’ experiences, I won’t go into too much detail. However, at one point I personally hit a wall of energy while working on another person. I felt as though I “couldn’t go any further” and that I had to “start over.” At the time, part of me thought it meant that I needed to start my training over, while another thought I needed to make some changes and start a new. It’s possible the feeling wasn’t even mine.  Even so, it felt like it was mine and so I owned it.

The master** facilitating the share was kind enough to speak with me privately and help me ground. The experience seems surreal and served as a great example of objective compassion … something I’ve known intellectually, but not emotionally until that moment. Afterwards, I rejoined the group and it was suggested that I get on the table for some energy work. My first instinct was to resist, as I normally don’t have people around to assist in my personal healing (this is mostly by choice, partly by circumstance), let alone strangers willing to aid in the journey. But I was determined to remain open.

In the end, I felt much better and was even able to work on another person and receive a critique of my technique (I probably should mention that the students at this Reiki Share were taught in the Usui tradition, whereas I learned a slightly different technique).

There’s still the question as to whether to start the training over (i.e. redo level 1) or just to level 2, etc. In either case, I know that I will be working with this new master. I think I am just going to take a leap of faith and just go for the second… knowing that whichever way I receive the training is perfect.

*The word Reiki comes from the Japanese and means “universe life force energy.” It is a noninvasive healing technique for stress reduction and relaxation.

 ** The term Reiki master refers to someone who has received the highest level of Reiki attunement and is able to teach these techniques to another. “Master” is only used to denote a “teacher.”

They say that words possess a lot of power and the more energy you put behind something, the more they can affect your intentions. Countless religions speak of the benefits of prayer, positive affirmation, and mantras – all words, all energy that can affect change. The same can be said for negative thoughts and self fulfilling prophecys… repeat something long enough and it might just end up true. What about the words/energy we give up innocently or without much thought?

Yesterday a fourteen year old boy, while at the gym with his friends, experiences a power outage. When he goes to exit the gym his friends tell him not to. He retorts: “What’s the worse that can happen? I get struck by lightening?” And a moment later he does indeed get struck! Amazingly, he recovered after two days. But if that isn’t a perfect example of irony, I don’t know what is… Although a random incident, I’ll certainly think twice before I utter something without mindfulness.

At the risk of sounding like a dork, I have a confession to make… I yielded to temptation and bought the Jack LaLanne power juicer. (What did you think I was going to say?) For months now, I’ve watched the clever infomercial filled with happy, perky individuals all touting the wonders of Jack’s juicer. Could it be true? Was this the juicer to end all juicers? I just had to see for my self what everyone was raving about. So on Friday after work I went to the local Target and purchased one for $99. (I’ll be damned if I was paying $150 as advertised on TV, even if they were willing to waive another $50 dollars off the price if you called within the next five minutes). I was certain I was going to find something wrong with it… something that would assure my money back guarantee. Thus, my hopes weren’t set too high. I quickly rushed home to put the contraption to the test. All we had in the house were apples, kiwis and a single pear. Adapting a recipe that came in the juicing guide, I opted for five apples and four kiwis.  

Wouldn’t you know it, the juicer didn’t work perfectly. Sure enough, it produced 30 percent more juice as promised. It was also very quiet, and indeed, you could put the whole fruit in the shoot! The pulp was dry – if I was a better cook (or had actually started the compost pile as planned this weekend) I would have put it to use. Unfortunately, it left a far bit of waste. Aside from that, the only other downside is that it does tend to make a mess underneath the “hood” when the fruit is too ripe. I do regret not buying it off the website because I missed out on all the additional accessories, such as the cookbooks, juicing platform, juice club membership, and the measuring cup, etc. that came with it for the same price.

 Tonight I made a pineapple and mango combo for tomorrow, as well as a spinach, cucumber, and apple combo for Dad. I discovered that if you alter between the riper and the firmer fruit it makes for a better juicing experience. It also give the flavors a chance to blend together. I also discovered a use for the remains: The pulp from the pine-go I blended and frozen into a sorbet which should be ready tomorrow. The remains from the spinach combo I froze for the base of a spinach sauce I make for my chicken and mozzarella ravioli – it’s going to save me a lot of prep time.    

 All in all, I am very happy with my new kitchen appliance and have become somewhat of a juicing addict. So far, I’ve juiced everyday, on average two-three times a day (Sounds kind of scandalous doesn’t it?) and lost one pound. (Still not sure if that is from the fresh nutrients or the fact that the office candy drawer was conveniently off limits during the holiday weekend).

 For anyone looking to purchase a juicer, I highly recommend the Jack LaLanne power juicer. I used to have one from Black and Decker and it didn’t even come close to this one. As a matter of fact, it sat on our kitchen counter for nearly five years before we gave it away – think we may have touched it once (and that was probably to get the toast crumbs that fell behind it).

If you own the power juicer, what are your experiences? If you opted for a different model or a different brand all together, why didn’t you choose the power juicer? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

For the past few months I’ve been visiting Deepcut Gardens whenever I have the opportunity – afterwork, on the weekends, before appointments. Over the weekend I managed to snap an awesome photo of a redtail in flight, which is now my banner. (Yes, before anyone says anything, I know it isn’t a falcon – still it serves the theme well). It was the first arial photo I’ve ever taken and the only one to actually come out decent. (There’s another from the top in mid-swoop, but he was too quick and too far away for the photo to render anything put a thumbnail without distorting the image. Alas, there will be more bird adventures in the future (Hoping to make it out to Sandy Hook’s bird lookout before the bennies tourists arrive).

Eventually most of the photos will go on Flickr. For now, here’s an appetizer. All of these photos were taken using a Kodak Z700 set at the highest resolution. In my opinion, they look so much better at there full size. However, there’s only so much space available here. Hope you enjoy! 

All the energy from Friday’s Full Moon celebration has inspired me to revisit the list of short-term goals I set three weeks ago. I am pleased to say that some objectives have been met or are well on the way to being completed, while others I’ve gleaned more insight and have revised.

1. Pay off all credit cards – this is a still a very important goal for me, as it symbolizes a shift from unsustainable consumerism to a more empowered and mindful way of life. I’m pleased to say that one card has been paid off entirely and the other has one (possible two) more payments. I still want to close the accounts of those I don’t use, but am afraid how that might impact my credit…more research is needed.
2. Lower interest on student loans – half accomplished (thanks, in no small part to the down economy).
3. Work on becoming comfortable “reading” for people – I realize I do this every day just by being me, speaking my truth and reflecting things back to people.
4. Take vacation – brainstorming either going to Delaware, South Carolina, or creating a stay-home spa.
5. Look into possibly go back to school (for advanced degree in Sociology) – School and education has always been important to me. So, it pains me to say this, but this isn’t as big of a priority for me as it once was. The idea about needing a formal education, in some respects, has been about a need to prove and legitimize myself. “Get the degree because it will make you more marketable… people will take you more seriously and listen to what you have to say…” I did look into going back and when the time is right it will probably be for Sociology or  ”transformative leadership.” But for the time being my education is focused elsewhere.
6. Learn herbalism/holistic medicine – seriously contemplating doing an apprenticeship with R.R. She’ll be hosting a few classes at the Greenfest, which I am eager to check out. From there I will decide for sure. I’ve also signed up for an Intro to Natural Healing course that outlines the various healing modalities, as well as the importance of nutrition. I’m already familiar with many of the techniques (and actually practice some already), so it is more about the nutrition as healing.
7. Go on real date – Should read, “build strong partnership connections.”
8. Career advancement or move – since an apartment is beyond the budget (and I actually enjoy living communally with the fam) I’ve focused more on the career advancement portion of this. I am pleased to say that I’ve completed my first business professional development course and am looking to pick up another in the fall.
9. Lose 20 pounds - Read,  ”lead a healthier life, more sustainable life.” For me, that means educating myself about nutrition (see goal 6), commit to exercising at least 30-40 minutes a day (includes hikes and walks), meditate 30-40 minutes a day, and learning to balance work/home/life stresses and commitments.
10. Do something I enjoy everyday - helps me complete the rest of the list.